winter blues

My thoughts keep turning to home these days. I'm sitting at the table as I
write this in tropical Madang, sipping my earl grey vanilla tea and cutting
up a chocolate bar into slivers with a sharp knife, just like my Daddy used
to do. Tastes so much better that way....and it makes it more conducive to
sharing.

I'm surrounded by coconut trees, tropical flowers, and the warm Pacific
Ocean, but all I want is evergreens loaded with snow, crunchy snow
underneath my feet, and a warm toasty fire going in the fireplace. I love
those magical nights when the moon is shining just so and it makes the snow
glitter like a gazillion diamonds. I love how all the little ones in my
life look when they're all bundled up against the winter cold with bright
red cheeks and noses peeking out. There's this winter atmosphere that I
love and miss so much and it would be impossible to try and recreate. It'd
be silly to even try.

All I can say is it's a good thing Grandma is coming. Today there has been
a collision of emotions. We said good bye to a good friend and at the same
time we are anticipating the arrival of our beloved Mama V. Have you ever
cried tears of sadness and joy all in the same moment? It does strange
things to your heart.

Maybe my longing for winter is this romanticized idea in my mind. Maybe
it's just all the things that come with the season that I'm missing, like
spending time with family and friends - all the extra gatherings. That must
be what it is. I just miss you.