Saturday, December 16, 2006

Christmas Card Disaster

This year I wanted to be like everybody else and hand out a family picture with a Christmas greeting on it. I guess you could say we'd get a nice picture of Bill and Jester the day Santa comes down our chimney.....which is never because we don't have a chimney. Bill knew I was uptight about it and wanted to help out. He came up with a few suggestions. Here are the pictures he thought would be suitable for a nice Christmas greeting:

Wow Bill, those are great suggestions. As you can probably guess The Jester was not top pleased with the selections Bill made. Yeah Bill, maybe YOU look great on those shots, but you can't always think of yourself. The Jester ain't looking too hot on those.

So The Jester took matters into his own hands and made a few suggestions of his own:

Sheesh. One of his choices doesn't even include Bill. I can see where this is going. I called a family meeting. The Christmas card idea was becoming a disaster...and quickly. Christmas cards are supposed to bring warm, fuzzy feelings. Not anger and selfishness. Drew made an excellent suggestion. Why not compromise? Let's pick a picture that is unbias to both Bill and Jester. Here is Drew's suggestion:
Both parties involved are looking at the camera....Bill has a funny and almost wierd face and Jesse is slumped over and not smiling. See? A compromise! I agreed, it was a good idea. Unfortunately Bill and Jester didn't go for it. Bill was too embarrassed of his wierd face and Jester just couldn't give out a picture in which he wasn't smiling. So sorry folks, you won't be getting a warm, fuzzy Christmas greeting from us this year. But you can't say we didn't try.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Deck the Vberg Halls

It's Christmas time at the Vanden Berg household. Our humble tree turned out well. The popcorn garland was Bill's idea. I can see right through him however....he just wanted to 'help', which really means 'eat'. Yeah, that took awhile. Thanks, Bill, for all your help. Sheesh.

Moving on, I'd like to show off these 'ULTIMATE Sugar Cookies'. That's what the recipe is called anyways. They were a hit at the church potluck on Tuesday. Not one left much to Bill's dismay. And you know it's a keeper if Lena Friesen asks for the recipe. It's funny how the Bergie cookbook is full of recipes with titles such as, 'World's Greatest Meatloaf', or 'Best Ever Brownies', or in my case, 'Ultimate Sugar Cookies'. And it's even more funny how I always make the recipes with those kind of titles. I have yet to be disappointed. I think Denyse's Thumbprint cookies should be called, 'Denyse's Superduper Thumbprint Cookies'.

Here we have a picture of a plate of Christmas goodies that someone (who will remain annonymous) brought over today. I'd like to give you a tour. To the far left are chocolate covered cherries....but in between the chocolate and the cherry is a layer of peanut butter. Crystal, just so you know, it tastes pretty bad. You wouldn't like it. The second from the left is a square made with mini mashmellows, rice krispies, smothered in a peanutbutter/butterscotch filling. Again, Crystal, it's pretty awful stuff. The third from the left are Rolo cookies. Yes, that's right, there is a Rolo in the centre of a chocolate cookie. But as we all know, Rolo's are HORRIBLE. Whoever would come with such a terrible idea? Ruining a perfectly good cookie with a Rolo center. Sheesh. And finally, to the far right we have Fudge Puddles. That would consist of a peanutbutter cookie base filled with a pool of fudge on the top and topped with a peanut. Yeah, I may as well throw those in the garbage. Disgusting.

Bill wanted me to give a greeting from him. He says to say, 'May your days be merry and bright and may all your christmas's be white.' (if you ask me he's going a little overboard with the Boney M, but hey, he's discovered them for the first time. Who can blame him?)

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Chris and Crystal, this one's for you........So I'm going through this season in my life where I'm trying to be authentic. I'm not into hiding my feelings anymore. I want to live my life as an open book. So, here is goes. Yes, that Toby Keith CD was mine. I'm coming out of the closet. I, Lisa Marie Vanden Berg, am a die hard Toby fan. This summer when I threw away that Toby cd I was really living a lie. My 'reputation' was more important to me and I was afraid of what you guys would think of me. And I'll confess right now since everything is out in the open that I fished that cd out of the garbage when no one was looking and the next time when I was all alone I cranked it on my stereo and sang along at the top of my lungs. How liberating! I don't care what people think anymore. My Toby posters are going back up and I'm even going to bring out my concert t-shirts. So there you have it. I feel so much better already - I'M AUTHENTIC!!! Here's a big shout out to my main man Toby. "HEY TOBY, I'M YOU'RE #1 FAN!"

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Danya? Dick Dick?

I'm worried about Bill. He's been having some withdrawl symptoms ever since Dick and Danya left. The other night he just kept saying, 'airplane, danya?'. Yes Bill, it's true. Dick and Danya went on an airplane and are gone out of our lives. Last night I showed him a picture of Dick and Danya and he just kept saying in a very high, quiet voice (and I'm not kidding), 'Dick Dick? Danya?'. It was like he was holding back his tears. Bill is having a lot of trouble sleeping. He cries himself to sleep every night since they left. Oh Bill, I know it's hard, but we just gotta pull ourselves together and keep going. Life doesn't stop for us when we're sad. We just gotta keep going. Be strong, Bill, be strong....if not for yourself, then for me.

Danya, seriously, maybe you could call Bill and encourage him a little sometime?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Billy Idol

" No pictures, please." Billy wasn't quick enough to get away from the paparazzi this time. Billy is known to shy away from cameras and tries to live a very private life. He drives an unsuspecting Accord which usually throws off those pesky paparazzi. Rumor has it he was leaving for a pleasure trip to St. Pete's in Russia.

Monday, September 11, 2006

To my faithful readers......

This is a sincere apology for not posting for so long. This is the culprit who has prevented me from posting.

I'd like to introduce 'the Jester' - the newest member of our clan. Notice the stylish fall sweater he's wearing courtesy of his auntie Danya. Looking sharp Jester, looking sharp. Not sure if the horizontal stripes do much for ya, though. sorry.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Star Struck

Much to Bill's delight there was free face painting at the church picnic today. And big surprise, he wanted a star drawn on his cheek. All the other kids wanted butterflies and tigers, but not Bill. Nope, he wanted a star. You should've seen the way he strutted around with his star. Bill, if you've got it, flaunt it, but maybe be a little more modest next time. We all know you're great and cool already, so cut it out with all this star stuff, all right?

The pic below is Madi putting Bill back in his place. Way to go Madi. You did what we all wished we had the guts to do. Bill didn't take it too well, but someone needed to say something.

Diet Update #3

Bill is approaching the one year mark on his diet. He wanted me to post another update for everyone. As you all know he's definitely had his ups and downs throughout the year, but in the last few weeks he's made some progress. He's decided to take the focus off what the scale says and just focus on eating right and feeling healthy. He's been under stress lately as he's anticipating the arrival of his new bro or sis and I think we all know it's difficult to eat right under stress. I'm pleased to report that Bill is holding his own very well under this difficult circumstance. Those evening cravings when it'd be easy to down a couple of teddy grahams or freezies, he chooses to obstain and opts for a glass of milk or some strawberries. "Baby steps, it's all about the baby steps," he tells me. Bill wanted me to send a special thanks out to his Aunt Crystal for always being such an encouragement through it all. If it wasn't for her he doesn't know where he'd be.

Here are a couple of parting shots of Bill...eating right. We're proud of you, buddy.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Left Behind

Crystal, We've been trying to get ahold of you since you left. You left one of your bags behind. Chris was just cringing while he unpacked the bag. Your bridesmaid shoes.....then your toothbrush....then your contact solution.....And then.....out popped Bill. Man was he pissed. He wanted to go to Florida more than anything and then you just HAD to forget the bag that he was packed in. Let's just say you better bring back a rockin' souvenier for him. Maybe then he'll forgive you.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Bill's Best Bud

Bill insisted that I make a post about his best friend "Big J". Bill and Big J have an open and honest relationship. Big J often talks to Bill about his diet. He encourages Bill to cut back and to eat more vegetables. Often, Big J is the only one that can get through to Bill. Bill encourages Big J to just muster up the courage and take those first few steps. 'It's not so bad', Bill tells him.

The real reason Bill wanted me to do a post on Big J was so we could give a big shout out to him! Here it goes.....HURRAY FOR BIG J - HERE IS A BIG SHOUT FOR YOU. Big J finally took the plunge and took those first steps. Bill knew you could do it. He believed in you more than anyone else. Bill is looking forward to ripping around the park and having his best friend right beside him.

Here is a nice shot of Bill and "J" showing a little affection. Can't you just feel the love?

Monday, May 01, 2006

Bill's Diet Update

Bill had joined millions of other North American's in what I like to call 'the diet trap'. As you can see from the before and after pics of his 'diet' not much progress has been made. He keeps giving into his carb cravings....and his exercise routine has gone downhill. He keeps promising Auntie Crystal that he'll do pilates with her some morning, but of course, it's been a bunch of empty promises. Sometimes he pulls out his pilates mat and puts it by his door with good intentions, but usually it gets put away again or it just stays there and we all step over it for a few weeks. I know he pretends it doesn't bother him....but when his pants are getting tighter and his shirts are getting smaller I think deep down inside he knows he needs to make some changes. My advice to Bill is to just scrap the fad diets and just live a healthy lifestyle. I've seen how it's getting him down and discouraged. Eat sensibly, Bill. And instead of using the remote all the time, try to get up off the couch and change the channel that way.

Bill at 11 months

Bill at 15 months

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Bill was heartbroken today. He found out there is another man in Auntie Crystal's life. This so called 'soysoy', or 'sawyer'. How is life ever going to be the same? He's decided to make the best of it and move on. He told me even if he has to share his Aunt's affection, it's better than to lose her all together. Here is Bill moments after he found out about 'soysoy'.

Friday, March 17, 2006

StaaaaBucks and Jimmy Choo for YOU

Japan has STAAABUCKS! Staaabucks, staaabucks, staaaaaabucks! Today in the big city there was a staaabucks around every corner. I nearly went crazy. Which Staaabucks should we go to first? Crystal, this Staabucks is for you. It wasn't the same without you.

You would never believe it. We found Jimmy Choo. There it was...every girl's dream. I looked high and low until I found the perfect shoe for Crystal. But, the only problem was the language barrier. How could I communicate her size to the friendly sales lady? Would she understand me? I began pointing at the shoe and then showing her 8 fingers. Maybe she would figure it out. Much to my surprise she seemed to understand what I was trying to say. I couldn't believe my luck! Well, little did I know my luck was about to run out. The sales lady disappeared into the back for a few minutes. I could tell by the look on her face that she had bad news. She rattled off a bunch of stuff to me in Japanese, but I knew what she was trying to say. In just one small moment she completely crushed all my hopes of bringing Crystal an authentic Jimmy Choo shoe.

Well Crystal, I hope you know that I tried. I tried real hard. The least I could do was take a photo to show you what could have been, but what was never meant to be. Sorry, sis. I can only hope you will understand.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Dogs, Plum Blossoms, and Funk

This is a shout out to Crystal way out in Winkler, Manitoba. I hear she's having a difficult time being seperated from me. Well, here is a little funk sent out her way. Cheer up. I'll be home soon. Just look at this picture whenever you miss me. Feel the funk, Crystal. Let it flow, babe. Let it flow.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Bill's Adventure Continued.....

I know you've all been waiting for episode II. Sorry to keep you waiting. Bill's Excellent Adventure continues......

It didn't take Bill long to realize that he was a hot commodity with the ladies. I don't blame them. With rugged good looks like his, what girl could resist? Bill was constantly fighting them off. Here is one girl's attempt to win his heart....nice try senorita.

Here's a nice looking senorita, Bill. He didn't take long to make his move. One thing Bill looks for in a girl is if she rides nice wheels. Here he's checking out her hot ride. As you can tell by his smile he's diggin' it. Nice pick, Bill.

Wow, Bill. You sure move quickly. Bill started to aquire a taste for the latin ladies. Here is yet another senorita whom he got very friendly with. So, this was a ministry trip, Bill? Oh sure, you were 'ministering' to this lovely latin lady? OH Bill. You're a real player!

Okay, so here is a picture of William actually finding some time to help do some 'ministry stuff'. Nice cover, buddy. I'm sure you're just going to use those beans to help your real 'mission'.

Bill's excellent adventure was definitely excellent.

Anyone missing a Diet Cherry Coke?

It was just way too tempting....what possibly could go better with pizza than a Cherry Coke? Sorry Crystal. I just couldn't resist. I meant to give it back. Honest.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Bill's Excellent Adventure

Bill's already experienced in his first year of life what few people experience in a lifetime. Bill's excellent adventure took him into the jungles of Peru. Tarapoto will never be the same.

This is where it all began......

more adventures to come......